4 Funniest Non-Show-Accurate Toys Ever

It seems like every time I turn around, I'm finding more ridiculous movie and TV show toys and collectibles.  I've collected my favorite finds here.

Best-Lock Stargate "Lego" Toys

Photo via 8of5multiverse.blogspot.com.

First up, these terrible Lego knockoffs that I featured on my blog a few months ago.  At first blush, they look good; the vehicles, DHD, and stargate are accurate enough.  However, when you start looking at the figures, something horrifying appears:

For whatever reason, the artist decided to use old man faces for all the characters.  Did the artist ever look at pictures of the characters, or the actors?  Did they just guess?  I do appreciate that Daniel's expression is a bit incredulous, as it seems most appropriate in this instance.

Hasbro Muscle-Bound Star Wars Figures

Muscle man Luke versus original issue Luke.  Photo via Razyor of nightfallunlimited.com.

These are undoubtedly a classic.  Released in 1995, these action figures came out when I was a kid, and I was admittedly pretty excited about them.  Compared to the films, and even the original figures, these "heroic" sculpts are just ridiculous.  Why does Luke Skywalker have muscles on his muscles?  The "force" is really just steroids?  ...Yeah, didn't think so.

AHI Parachuting Spock

Spock... with a parachute!  Photo via plaidstallions.com.

I've included this mostly because I think the very idea is funny.  Just think of all the ways that the Star Trek crew could use this to their advantage: Need to escape from ravaging monsters in a hurry?  Use your parachute, Spock!  Have to escape from the Genesis effect (The Wrath of Khan)?  Use your parachute, Spock!  Infiltrating behind enemies' lines?  Use your parachute, Spock!

Limited Edition Harry Potter Dolls

Undead Harry versus Alive Harry.  Photos via ebay.com, listal.com.



Last, but not least, undead Harry Potter and drunk Ron Weasley.  Seriously, Harry's lips are blue.  The above picture isn't the best, but you can still see that the skin tone is also off, making him look kind of pasty, while his glasses have been enlarged by an errant spell.

Drunk Weasley versus Wistful Weasley. Photos via entertainmentearth.com, harrypotter.wikia.com.

Undead Harry Potter is then followed by the drunken Weasley.  I do appreciate that the doll maker at least attempted to get his hairstyle right (much more so than Harry, above), but the expression on his face just makes him look drunk.  What was the artist going for?  Ambivalence?  Embarrassment?  Apprehension?  Of course, if I went to a party in that getup, I'd probably have a few drinks beforehand in order to start ahead of the game, so to speak.

What-What?! Week of January 5th

It's January!  That means I've been doing this blog for a nearly a whole year.

We were all sick again this week, so that's been somewhat miserable.  The rest of us just have colds, but the baby has a double ear infection AND acute bronchitis.  We woke up in the middle of the night, and he was having trouble breathing, so it made for another trip to the ER.  Luckily, at 3:30 in the morning, no one is at the ER that doesn't really want to be there, so at least we didn't wait long.  Less than 8 hours before, and all he had was a mildly runny nose.  Blah.

Oh!  I had an article published -- 4 Ways Sears Gets It Wrong via Yahoo! Voices.  I'm also working on another children's book collection post which I'll publish sometime this next week.

Horrific SG-1 "Lego" Toy Found at Target

Growing up, I watched the original Stargate film, as well as the TV shows, Stargate SG-1 and Stargate Atlantis (Stargate Universe does not exist in my world).  So when I saw this monstrosity of a toy at the local Target, I was both intrigued and disgusted.  When you first look at this Best Lock Jack on Abydos set, it doesn't seem so bad; the Stargate and DHD look true to the films, but then... then you get a look at Jack:

What's up with his face?  What happened?  Did the designer truly step back and say "that's exactly as I Intended"?  Had the designer ever actually seen a human before?  I have to wonder who on Earth gave Best Lock the license to make these toys, considering that the brand itself is third-tier knockoff Lego, with extremely poor reviews on Amazon.com.  Don't be looking for this too hard in your local Target, though, because the reports I've seen say that it was part of the Christmas seasonal section.

(When I was organizing images for this section, I could not stop laughing at the juxtaposition between Jack and his Best Lock counterpart.  What the what, indeed!)

Fashion: Victorian Star Trek:  The Next Generation Dresses

This is totally nerdy.  These ladies made themselves Victorian-era costumes of Kathryn Janeway and Data for seeing a sneak preview of Into Darkness, and possibly also for the WGT convention in Leipzig.  I like the cut of the top on the Janeway cosplayer a bit better, though the slightly-puffed shoulders on the other one is very cute.

I found this via Fashion It So, which is a Star Trek: The Next Generation fashion blog.  It's worth a read if you have lots of time to kill. ;)

(imgs via ebay, needlessessentialsonline.com, truhe-der-genovefa.blogspot.ca)